Romantic relationships are some of the most personal attachments we form throughout our lives. Connecting with unique individuals who we might choose to spend the rest of our lives with is a big choice, and to create a healthy relationship means you have to learn how to make your partner feel loved and understand the needs and wants of your significant other.
You would be surprised at how simple it is to attain relationship satisfaction by either changing or incorporating certain habits on a daily basis or as often as possible. We understand that with busy schedules and all the complications that arise, it may not be easy to sustain a 21st-century relationship, especially with the popularity of social media and the desire to make things public.
Even the average couple you see on Instagram faces relationship issues. Don’t worry or send yourself into a spiral of anxious thoughts about being a bad partner, or worse, giving into the common fear that you somehow don’t deserve to be loved.
We’ll guide you through a bunch of tips you should keep in mind and everyday loving actions that aren’t necessarily romantic but still strengthen intimate relationships.
How to Make Your Partner Feel Loved
Before we delve into how important communication is, think about how long you’ve been with your partner.
A lot of couples will make comparisons between their current relationship and former partners and often end up thinking themselves into a ditch of dissatisfaction. These thoughts revolve around not being loved enough or not knowing the partner as well as an ex.
In some cases, you might just not know what to do. Feeling clueless and a little lost can be normal in new relationships.
People can take time to open up, and learning their partner’s love languages and how they want to be loved isn’t something that will happen overnight. It’s a gradual and rewarding process of discovering your partner’s quirks. Of course, a few simple conversations can also solve your dilemma.
Then again, simply hearing about it and discovering things through shared experiences can create deeper bonds and give meaning to your actions, in addition to creating memories you can cherish forever and that belong only to you and your partner!
Give your partner some credit and also undivided attention when they delve into their idea of being loved. Don’t just ask them to lay themselves bare and then be on your phone!
Adults usually discover how they envision being loved. If not, you can always make these discoveries together. If you’ve been with your partner for a long time, and they’ve expressed a lack of intimacy or need affirmation, think about all the things that have worked in the past.
And if it’s too boring, create new ways of doing things together that would lead to your partner feeling loved by you.
Learning Love Languages
Relationship experts and psychologists alike have been studying intimate relationships for a long time now, and they’ve come up with a few tangible ways to love someone by incorporating actions that translate into their love languages.
Gary Chapman, in his book, The Five Love Languages: The Secret To Love That Lasts, defines them as ways to experience and express love.
Let’s dive into them!
1 . Quality Time
You need to be intentional about the time you spend with your partner. Set aside blocks of time if you have a busy schedule, and they will feel appreciated because they’ll know that despite your routine, you chose to be with them.
Try to avoid things like just watching TV or scrolling mindlessly through social media when you are with your partner. Talk to them, ask them about their day, and engage in a thought-out activity with them that involves action and not just passive consumption.
It could be something as simple as playing the board games they enjoy. In fact, tasks stimulating brain activity could easily help build a strong relationship due to their intellectual appeal.
2 . Physical Touch
While physical touch can often mean sexual intimacy, it can also mean nonsexual intimacy. This could mean cuddling your partner, offering hugs, holding hands, stroking their hair, and even remaining close to them in public and holding their hand.
Often, people deprived of childhood physical connection will feel this need deeply.
Affectionate touch, especially if spontaneously done, could light up their day. You could even plan a cuddle session.
3 . Words of Affirmation
You have no idea how important words can be. Some people require verbal affirmations that can be as simple as saying, “I love you” or a compliment. You can do even better by describing your love for them or making the compliment directional.
For instance, you could say, “I love how kind you are, and that you want me to be a better person.” Even though you’re not directly saying you love them, loving this quality of theirs shows you’ve spent time noticing and appreciating it in them.
This is especially true for partners who often wonder why you love them. Some people have anxious attachment styles, or they just like hearing it. A compliment should be descriptive.
“I love it when you sing because you pack so much emotion into the music, and it makes me feel so many things,” or “I love the way your hair cascades down your face, framing something I love looking at.”
It might sound cheesy, but descriptions will go a long way. Write a sweet message today and see how well it works!
4 . Acts of Service
This is pretty self-explanatory, but try to fix the dripping faucet over the sink. Pick up their dry cleaning on a busy day.
Most couples who live together split the chores, but you could always do the dishes, replace the light bulb, take the cat to the vet, etc.
The point is to take something off your partner’s plate and make their day easier. Often, hyper-independent people could use some help, given that such independence is often a result of not having anyone to rely on.
Some people love things. And not just any random thing delivered to their doorstep, but something that holds meaning. Rather than picking out the most expensive things, find out what they would like to be gifted with.
Partners will often knowingly and unknowingly drop hints, and receiving gifts is all the sweeter when you don’t think your significant other noticed. Paying special attention is a romantic gesture too!
If your partner loves gaming and has been eying a certain headset but won’t get it for themselves? Get it! Or if they’re a bookworm, you could pick up their favorite author’s latest release before they preorder it themselves!
Nothing is better in a relationship than taking the time to learn how to make your partner feel loved while also effectively communicating your needs, wants, and expectations.
Manage things in a healthy way, and figure out how multiple love languages tie in together and you will have a lovely, healthy relationship in the future!