Sometimes you can find yourself in a vicious cycle of overthinking interpersonal relationships, especially romantic relationships, even if they’re healthy or maybe because they’re healthy.
The resulting emotional distress can ruin entire relationships without anyone having to do much when we act on those feelings of anxiety. Positive thinking can be hard to practice, especially when you’ve faced negative events.
This often has to do with early childhood experiences, parenting styles, and the fear of abandonment. This is a consequence of insecure and unfulfilling relationships as a child. As far as internal reasons go, anxiety, low self-esteem, and a belief that you are not worthy of love could cause you to overthink. It could also be your attachment style.
This can also result from former relationships, where your partner either failed to meet your needs or caused emotional, physical, sexual, or psychological harm. This doesn’t just include violence but also cheating, neglect, degradation, etc.
External reasons include not being given enough attention. Some of the reasons include an absent partner, entering a new relationship, trust issues, and lack of communication. How to stop overthinking becomes essential.
In this article, we want to take a look at how to stop overthinking in a relationship, so you can live a happy, healthy life!
How to Stop Overthinking in a Relationship
Here are some of our recommendations on pausing the cycle and changing things up to make way for positive thinking.
Communicate With Your Partner
Building a healthy relationship is contingent upon developing a sense of security. This can be achieved by just talking to your significant other. Relationship communication is a necessary thing, not just to defeat that negative thinking but also to create intimacy. Once
So many horrible scenarios depend on assumptions we make, not just about ourselves but our partners. We often don’t know how to stop all those negative thoughts and discredit both parties.
Lay out all your concerns in front of your partner; the first thing this will achieve is to offer a sense of relief. It’s not easy carrying all those fears, and overthinking causes will crush you underneath them. Moreover, just saying things out loud can minimize their effect.
One successful outcome of just speaking your anxious feelings out loud is that all overblown and unrealistic scenarios come to light. We can often realize how unrealistic we are being.
While attachment styles can influence your relationship dynamic, honest communication can genuinely resolve a lot of your issues. For instance, if you feel a sense of isolation, you might want to ask your partner to spend quality time with you.
If it’s your fear of rejection or being left for someone else, see why you’re feeling this way. Chances are your partner will offer affirmations that can set you at ease.
However, your significant other can’t take away your habit of overthinking. You need to do a lot of positive introspection.
Don’t Worry About the Future
Many of our anxieties stem from either an over-reliance on past experiences to predict how the future will turn out or hyperfocus on how many things can go wrong in the future.
The entire point of relationships is to have that person to love and care for and to be loved and cared for in turn. There’s no use worrying yourself so much you forget to think about all the things that matter, right now.
Practice being present in the moment. Many of us forget to cherish the now and lose the sense of the relationship, and the time passes in a blink. And know that you’re not in this alone.
To reiterate, if you’re worrying excessively about the future or ruminating too much over the past. Talk these fears out with your partner.
Moreover, some of these fears could be a consequence of low self-esteem. If you think your partner is cheating or is out searching for someone better so they can leave you. Try to pin the source of your low self-esteem and see where you can make tangible changes.
Remember, change doesn’t happen overnight, and it won’t be sustainable if it does. You need to make a habit of thinking better about yourself.
A tip is to make a list of your thoughts and then pretend to debate against yourself. Pose counterarguments and evidence to the contrary. This is an effective method to combat bad thoughts.
Realistically challenge those thoughts and point out the flaws in your argument that can prove your terrible thinking is not true.
Think About the Good Parts
There have to be good parts in your relationship. Think about those whenever you fall down the rabbit hole of overthinking the relationship.
These thoughts could range from the wonderful qualities of your partner and how they treat you. Think of all the times you’ve been happy, had fun, and felt loved and cherished.
If you have a habit of overthinking negatively, you likely forget to overthink the good parts. For a change, every time you begin to think about the bad, let the good overshadow it.
Look at pictures from good times and conversations. In fact, you can star/save cute or meaningful texts your partner has sent you and look at them during these trying times – or just reach out and create new memories.
Having a good time can take your mind off things and reinforce how good your relationship is.
Looking For Help
If your feelings of anxiety about your relationship don’t go away. You regularly indulge in compulsively thinking about your relationship. We would suggest you seek professional help.
You can seek out a licensed therapist, especially someone who specializes in relationship issues. Therapists or counselors can help you create a better image of yourself. Not only that, but they can help deal with childhood and relationship trauma, and sometimes, it’s just a safe space to talk about things.
Going to therapy can aid in viewing your relationship in a more positive light. Techniques such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can help reshape how you process the events that happen to you.
Moreover, if you suffer from any disorders or previously undiagnosed mental illnesses, therapists can help diagnose and treat those illnesses or disorders. You can attempt solutions aimed specifically for you and in light of your condition.
There is no shame in needing to speak to a professional, especially if they can identify the trigger that pushes you into overthinking.
Go Out With Friends
Having healthy support systems is important. Your partner can’t provide you with everything or fulfill every single need, and it is rather unfair to place that sort of burden on someone.
Develop a network of friends you can spend time with and take your mind off things by engaging in other activities. While a relationship is a big part of your life, it is not the only important thing you’ve got going on.
This doesn’t mean you completely disengage from your partner. Maintain a balance between romance, friendship, and, of course, self-care.
Contrary to popular belief, self-care doesn’t always resemble indulging in expensive products. Often, it’s finding the things that you like and sticking to them.
You could learn a new skill or a new hobby, and by the end of it, not only will you have other things to occupy your mind, and you will have learned something new. This can also elevate your self-esteem and boost the way you see yourself; accomplishments can naturally make people feel good.
Relationships are tricky, but they can also be wonderful, warm spaces to grow and thrive as human beings. Try not to give in to those overthinking loops. Hopefully, you can use some of these tips on how to stop overthinking in a relationship.
Take care of yourself by practicing more mindfulness and developing support systems. Keep communication channels open in your relationship, and do what makes you happy!