what are the bases in a relationship

What Are the Bases in a Relationship? – The Baseball-Sex Metaphor

Most adults, particularly in the USA, have been asked which base they got to with a date at some point in their life. You don’t have to be a passionate baseball fan to figure out the question isn’t about the sports. 

The United States, as a country of baseball, has some very complex baseball sex metaphors as a part of everyday slang. However, we are getting to the bottom of the meaning – discussing all four bases plus more. 

Here, we’ll answer the question, “what are the bases in a relationship?” and make you understand their relationship with baseball. Read on!  

What Is Baseball? 

playing baseball

Baseball is a traditional bat and ball sport in the United States of America. It is played by the two teams who take turns in batting and fielding. The history of baseball is difficult to trace with accuracy. However, we know that baseball developed from the earlier and simpler bat and ball games. 

In the 19th century in the US, there were many uncodified bat and ball games. The first-ever recorded baseball game was played in Canada, not in the United States. This game took place in Beachville, Ontario, Canada, on June 4, 1838.  

What Do Bases Look Like in Baseball?

Baseball base

To understand the bases in a relationship, let’s start with the actual bases in baseball. Every baseball field is in the shape of a pie, with the center of attention in the spike. In the game, there are first, second, third base, and home base. 

The sexual slang evolved beyond the game itself, so you can hear people talk about the 5th and 6th base, which we will soon discuss. Here are the different bases and their significances:

First base

This base lies on the right side of the field, and it is the first of the four bases that a runner must touch. The runner starts from first base and must touch it to score a run. 

If the runner touches first base, they score a point for the batting team. The runner has the option to continue to run past the first base so long as they make contact with the first base. 

Second base 

This base lies opposite the home base and is the second base that runners must touch if they want to score. A second base runner stands in the “scoring position.” The second base is also the farthest from home plate, which is why it is usually also a  stolen base in baseball.

Third base

This is the base on the left side of the field. The basemen on the third base must also run to score, but they are playing defense. 

Home base

This base is called the home plate, which is visually similar to a five-sided plate. It is made of white rubber, and it is a final base that the player must touch to score a run. 

What Are the Bases in a Relationship? – History of Baseball Sex Metaphors

Bases are just one of many sex metaphors centered around the game of baseball, which became popular during the aftermath of  World War II. Baseball metaphors were and are still used as euphemisms to discuss sexual activities and sexual intercourse. 

The base metaphor describes the degree of sexual intimacy during a sexual encounter with a sexual partner. The content and meaning of a metaphor changed from that time. In the 1990s, the metaphor evolved to include same-sex intercourse.

Criticism of the Baseball Sex Metaphors

Some authors criticize the baseball sex metaphor as an epitome of everything wrong with the American hookup culture that reduces sexual partners to strikes. The terms can be somewhat derogative, like ‘hitting a score.’ 

The metaphor paints a picture of sexual intercourse and physical intimacy being a game in which one wins or loses, an outdated outlook that neglects intimacy and emotional connection and even raises the question of consent. 

Sex Education

Considering this criticism, the conflicting perspective on baseball metaphors as a part of sex education in American school systems is more than anticipated. 

The authors of A Chicken’s Guide to Talking Turkey with Your Kids About Sex, a manual for parents about sex education at home, Kevin Leman and Kathy Bell, use the metaphor to present their sexual education methodology. 

Other authors, like Roffman and Deborah, in their The power of language: Sexual baseball as a metaphor in American culture, stress the importance of sexual terminology and the dangers of sex vocabulary. 

The book depicts sex as a contest that revolves around winning rather than an activity based on mutual consent where all parties enjoy and participate in a consensual activity. 

The American Journal of Sexuality Education proposed healthier and safer alternatives to the baseball metaphor in their articles. One of the positive and more included sex metaphors to replace this one could be the pizza metaphor.

Bases Meaning in Relationship

So what are the bases in a relationship? Now that we discussed the actual meaning of the bases in sports terminology and the dangers of using this classical American slang, let’s dive into the meaning of the bases in sexual relationships. 

First base

Couples kissing

The first base consists of intimate activities that don’t include private areas. The first base usually translates to kissing or making out. This consists of mild kissing, French kissing, hugging, intense kissing, holding hands, etc. Generally, these are activities that may occur on a first date.

Second base

The second base consists of touching private parts, but above the waist. This usually means touching breasts, chest, and nipples. There are different views on whether it involves direct or indirect contact with these body parts – however, the motive is the same.

The metaphor was initially used for heterosexual activities between a man and a woman, but now it refers to other sexualities as well. 

Third base 

The third base refers to the touch below the waist. This can mean manual stimulation or oral stimulation of the penis, vagina, or anus. This can include using one’s mouth, hands, sex toys, or other body parts other than coitus. 

Homebase

Homebase stands for the act of sex. The original meaning referred to vaginal sex but now includes oral sex and anal intercourse, particularly for gay and lesbian couples. 

Definitions Are Not the Same for Everyone

It is challenging to be precise with sexual metaphors, as sex can mean different things to different people. People use sex metaphors based on what they hear, their personal experiences, views of sex, their generation, and so on. 

Having this in mind, we will mention some more baseball euphemisms that evolved from this metaphor.

  • The fifth base – stands for anal sex
  • sixth base – having sex with two people at the same time
  • strikeout – a failure to engage in any form of sexual activity
  • pitcher – penetrative partner in the anal sex
  • catcher – receptive partner in anal sex
  • switch-hitter or playing for both teams – a bisexual 

Consent

Communication about sexual activities before, during, and after the action is essential to a healthy sex life and a positive view of sex. Discussing boundaries, likes, and dislikes are prerogatives to enjoyable and safe sex. 

Partners need to talk about their inclinations to have an enjoyable sexual experience. The talk helps find common ground for people whose desires aren’t compatible. In this way, partners can engage in sexual activity consensually. 

Before and during sexual activities, no matter which base it refers to – one needs to check in with their partner and ask for consent. Questions about consent do not have to be awkward and can be part of foreplay and sexual activities. Talking about sex also brings partners together and gives them a sense of intimacy. 

Conclusion

What are the bases in a relationship? Baseball metaphors have been part of American sexual terminology for quite some time. Some authors still use them as a part of sexual education, while others criticize them for being outdated and focusing on a win rather than a consensual shared experience. 

Four bases represent different levels of physical intimacy during sexual activities between partners, from kissing to intercourse. The bases’ meaning evolved with time to include same-sex intercourse and other sexual preferences.