Support Your Partner with Low Self Esteem
Support Your Partner with Low Self Esteem
Try to Understand the Perception of Your Partner
There could be countless possibilities that may have led to low self-esteem in your partner. Some people have low self-esteem for how they look. Some suffer because of educational background while others suffer because of bad experiences that had in the past.
The first thing you can do to try and understand the reason behind the insecurities is to ask them about it so that you understand the root cause.
It could be a very traumatic experience that has affected their whole life or something more benign, yet important to them. It is very important to talk about this with them and show your support to let them know you understand. Communication, loving kindness and openness is key.
Remind Your Partner of His/her Strengths.
Low self-esteem arises when a person focuses more on his/her weaknesses rather than strengths. What you need to do as a partner is to shift the focus.
You need to divert the focus of your partner towards the positive aspects of their personality and by gently reminding them of their strengths.
Start out with something simple as giving a compliment or by seeking their help in something that makes them feel worthy and needed. Tell them how much they mean to you and how great they are.
Do Small and Enjoyable Activities Together
While your partner may not be very comfortable about things like fancy dates, etc. because of their low self-esteem. A good way to not let this one thing affect your bonding is to find alternative activities where your partner can feel more confident.
Find things they may enjoy and don’t mind doing with you. It can be something fun as indoor rock climbing, bowling, or visiting a museum. Always remember that it is the little things that the two of you can do together and enjoy that actually matter.
Avoid things that your partner can make them question their self-worth. Another trick is encouraging things they are very good at and love doing. Their comfort should be your first priority.
Don’t Forget Your Self Care.
It can be quite a challenge but help yourself by remaining autonomous. You must accept that you cannot ‘fix’ your partner. Their self-esteem has to come from within. They cannot rely on external sources for that happiness that is robbing them of their self-esteem.
Encourage them to take care of themselves by doing things that truly makes them happy. Let them know that therapy might be a very good resource for them to use to help them find the love within to fill their inner void.
While you are encouraging them to learning how to practice self-love, you don’t have to walk on eggshells with them. You might feel inclined to filter what you say and do to not offend your partner. Although it’s great that you don’t want to antagonize a situation, avoiding issues can cause harm too. What about you?
Finding someone who YOU can share your vulnerability with is something that ought to be strived for, and not avoid with your partner. Avoiding your partner’s tendency to be hyper vigilant in seeing the negative can cause tension between the two of you when certain topics arise.
Rather than being disengaging or defensive when tension does arise, try encouraging your partner to be open to new perspectives that they find threatening. It will help them see that it isn’t nearly as scary as it seems.
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