His Secret Obsession by James Bauer

His Secret Obsession by James Bauer – 5.0 Star Rating

His Secret Obsession - James Bauer

His Secret Obsession by James Bauer – A 5.0 Star Rating Book Review


James Bauer is a renowned relationship coach and marriage counselor. In his latest book, His Secret Obsession, Bauer looks to provide a guide for women to help them understand the keys to keeping a man and maintaining a happy relationship.

In James Bauer’s latest book, “His Secret Obsession” the marriage counselor tries to tackle a significant problem that many women tend to face while trying to build lasting relationships – keeping a man loyal and committed to the relationship.

Below, Stellar-Advice will review some of the biggest takeaways from James Bauer, and look into how you can apply them:

Answering the Question: What is a Man’s Secret Obsession?

According to James Bauer, in “His Secret Obsession,” the secret to keeping a man is to trigger his hero instinct. Basically, the hero’s instinct is the desire to live a life of meaning and to be respected for what he does. It is especially important in relationships – a man wants to feel loved and respected by the woman he’s in a relationship with.

A man will be more attracted to a woman who makes him feel like a hero than one who barely appreciates him and his efforts.

His Secret Obsession - James Bauer

Picture provided by Esteban Lopez via Unsplash

Is the Hero Instinct Realistic?

There’s a lot of realism to the hero instinct as a concept. As James Bauer in “His Secret Obsession” argues, men are pretty simple in how they are made. Every man wants to feel like a man. When you play to his ego, he feels better and is inclined to love you more.

But, there is also a deeper meaning to it – one that stretches beyond the ego. Everyone wants to live a meaningful life. When your partner understands that and is willing to support and appreciate your efforts, it’s a rare thing.

James Bauer nails the point. Men have an innate desire to provide for their partners and protect them. They want to be important, and they want to feel that way too. This relationship guide explains how to make that happen.

His Secret Obsession - James Bauer

Photo provided by Unsplash

A man wants to step out and earn his woman’s affection. When affection is given there’s a deeper sense of accomplishment for them at that point. This is key to keeping a happy relationship.

For a lot of men, being in a relationship isn’t really about you. It’s more about how they feel when they’re with you. Things like your looks and your skills in bed can complement to make for successful relationships.

Triggering the Hero Instinct

James Bauer’s relationship guide “His Secret Obsession,” goes on to talk about how best to trigger the hero instinct in your man. They are practical steps, and you can try them to see how they work.

“His Secret Obsession” doesn’t encourage you to be manipulative or play mind games to control your man. Successful relationships don’t exactly work when you’re pretending to be someone you’re not. They’re simply ways to make your man feel better about himself, and possibly to see you in a new light.


James Bauer is one of the best relationship coaches out there and received a high rating for this book.  In “His Secret Obsession”, delivers a succinct, and enlightening expose of how the male mind works. It does not only tell you from a male’s perspective but also a bit from a woman’s.  The book is not a one-size-fits-all solution to relationship issues, but it does offer some useful tips. It will really help you understand how men see things and deal with issues regarding a relationship with a woman. The most important thing to remember at the end of the day is that it’s your partner’s responsibility to stay committed, not yours.