People are often led to believe that romantic relationships work as long as there’s love. While that’s true, it’s important to note that love is never enough. In addition to love, every relationship requires trust.
Trust is the foundation upon which a successful relationship is built. It’s an indispensable requirement that maintains all the good people in relationships desire. Couples become suspicious and unnecessarily doubtful of themselves, which results in trust issues and insecurities.
You must learn how to deal with trust issues and insecurities if you’re struggling with them. As that’s a difficult task for many people, this post offers helpful tips on managing these toxic traits. But before we dive into that, let’s briefly discuss the causes of trust issues.
What Are the Causes of Trust Issues?
Generally, people develop trust issues when they find it difficult to trust others. This lack of trust triggers their sense of insecurity and self-preservation when dealing with other people. While lack of trust is the primary cause of trust issues, the following are other causes, especially for those in a relationship:
Infidelity is the most common cause of developing trust issues. It’s an extra-marital or extra-relationship affair with a romantic interest in another person. For many people, it’s an ultimate act of betrayal, which typically ends relationships.
Betrayal of trust can leave victims doubtful of other people’s intentions. Even if they manage to fix things in the relationship, it might be as strong as it used to be. And that’s why they are said to have trust issues.
Many people get manipulated without knowing. Manipulation comes in different formats, and they are hard to recognize. That’s why whenever people notice they are being manipulated, they end up having trust issues.
It’s difficult to recover from manipulation, and the reason isn’t far-fetched. When you spend a lengthy period doubting your reality, your gut feeling keeps telling you something is wrong, and you continually feel low self-esteem. All these feelings leave a lasting impact that ruins the trust of the victim.
Today, abandonment is popularly known as “ghosting.” It happens when someone suddenly leaves or cuts communication without prior discussion or explanation. People who experience abandonment issues find it difficult to trust because they are always anxious about the possibility of being abandoned again.
It could also play out as an unhealthy anxious attachment to someone. Those who experience it are in constant fear of losing what they already have, even if it’s becoming toxic.
Do Trust Issues Cause Insecurities
Trust issues make people become suspicious, doubtful, overly protective, and assume the worst. These traits combine and mold into feelings of insecurity.
When someone suffers insecurity, it’s not because a particular thing is happening in their relationship. It’s usually because they haven’t healed from past unresolved wounds and trust-breaking experiences.
So trust issues are different from insecurity. Insecure people are a product of a lack or loss of trust and self-confidence in someone. Either way, both are remarkably toxic and can damage a relationship. So how do you deal with them in your daily life?
How Do You Know You Have Trust Issues and Insecurities
People with trust issues are mostly unaware of how these issues perpetuate themselves. The following are signs of trust issues you should look out for:
Focusing on the Negative
There are two sides to every experience – the positive and the negative experiences. People with trust issues and insecurities will focus on the negatives most of the time, causing issues in relationships.
So if you find yourself constantly assuming the worst of your partner or noticing their weaknesses, you may be having issues with trust and insecurity.
Trust issues and insecurity keeps you hyperactive in your awareness. You notice even the littlest things that can be dismissed, bring them up, and pick a fight. This could be something that happened recently or a long time in the past. Either way, that’s a strong sign of insecurity.
Spying on Your Partner
Insecurities set you on edge at all times. You are constantly looking for proof to validate your assumptions of dishonesty. This is what propels the decision to spy on your partner. So whenever you realize you’re threading this path or already have, then you’re struggling with trust issues and insecurity.
Avoiding Commitment and Intimacy
Intimate relationships need commitment, and commitment requires trust and vulnerability. They feed on each other, and if you have trouble committing to someone, you may not trust them enough to feel vulnerable around them. Hence, you may have trust issues.
Keeping to Yourself
There’s no problem keeping to yourself, but it shouldn’t be a habit. If you enjoy sharing your company with no one and prefer keeping things to yourself, you’re likely struggling with trust issues and insecurities.
How to Deal With Trust Issues and Insecurities in a Relationship – Top 5 Effective Tips
Dealing with trust issues and insecurity isn’t an easy task. These traits inherently cause self-doubt that hinders your ability to create a healthy, happy, and beautiful relationship. However, you can deal with these toxic traits with the following trust-building tips:
Build Trust Gradually and Accept the Risks
It may sound counterintuitive, but building trust is the first step toward dealing with trust issues and insecurity. But it must be done gradually because you have to take your time in allowing yourself to trust your partner. This allows you to build other traits that solidify your relationship.
While you’re at it, you must accept the risk that accompanies trust. Nobody, including yourself, is perfect. We let people down, and there’s a high chance you’re also let down at some point. But that doesn’t mean your current or future relationship should be severed because of a lack of trust.
Communicate Your Trust Issues Honestly and Continuously
While this is easier said than done, it’s a remarkably helpful strategy to deal with trust and insecurity. You don’t necessarily need to provide all the details about your past traumatic experiences that caused your trust issues, but be open about why you struggle.
The way you communicate will determine how your romantic partner receives the information you put across. It’ll also improve your interpersonal relationships. While you’re at it, ensure you’re honest and do it continuously, not just with your current partner but with other people in your life.
Differentiate Between Trust and Control
Rust and control are two different things. But a person with trust issues may think once they can control others, they can trust them. This is unhealthy as it may lead to mistrusting behavior, thereby causing you more harm than good.
Yielding control in certain situations is crucial in dealing with your trust issues with others. With your spouse, it shows them you trust them enough to do something, whether or not you’re aware of them.
You won’t trust other people if you don’t trust yourself. While this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t question or evaluate your choices. You should rather focus more on building a strong self-awareness that enhances your judgment and influence your interactions with others.
Having complete trust in yourself is also helpful in creating a healthy, happy, and beautiful relationship. People with trust issues and insecurities are beaten by self-doubt. But if you trust yourself well, this level of trust wouldn’t only eliminate self-doubt, but you’ll also deal with your trust and insecurities.
Address the Root Cause of Your Issues Yourself or Try Therapy
You have to know why you have trust issues and insecurities to be able to deal with them properly. That’s why it is important to address the primary cause of these issues. When you get to the root cause, you also need to acknowledge it.
While it may be difficult to do this on your own, therapy may come in handy. The therapeutic alliance you form with your relationship therapist will be super helpful in addressing the root causes of your issues. With a relationship expert, you’ll also get help in realizing coping skills that’ll help you build trust in your romantic relationship.
Trusting other people is hard when you’re struggling with trust issues. But you have to learn how to deal with trust issues and insecurities to have a healthy relationship.
While this post suggests effective tips, you must observe and prioritize each of them for your emotional growth, mental health, and well-being.