Have you been married for a few years now? A lot of people reach a point where they feel “I am not happy in my marriage anymore.” We all feel this way when we hit rough patches. But if these feelings linger, then it might be a sign of an unhappy relationship that needs some serious TLC.
In this guide, Stellar-Advice offers advice on what to do when these rough times start to affect your intimate relationships.
What To Do When That “I Am Not Happy in My Marriage Anymore” Feeling Sets In
Even the happiest of couples struggle from time to time. If there are no relationship issues in your marriage, then it probably means that one, or both, of you, are not being honest with yourselves or each other.
Remember, just because you experience difficult times doesn’t mean you have a bad relationship, either. It might only mean that you need to start working a little bit harder to grow into a healthy relationship.
Here are a few things you should try before you decide to throw in the towel.
Learn More About Each Other Again
People grow and mature as they get older, and these experiences might bring a lot of changes to your personality, dreams, and desires. Do not just assume that your partner will like the same things he or she liked back when you were still dating. Spend some quality time and try to learn more about each other even after all this time.
Spend More Time Together
Making more time for each other is a great way to revive the love in your relationship. Start hanging out together and do things you love.
While you’re doing this, you should be careful to be fully present. Spending time together doesn’t count if one of you is distracted by a phone and the other one is watching TV.
Own Up to Your Mistakes
Don’t be a victim in your marriage. It isn’t fun for your partner to constantly play the villain or to carry the blame for everything that might go wrong in your relationship.
Take a deep breath and own up to your own mistakes, carry some of the blame, and work towards building a better and more positive relationship.
Identify and Avoid Stressors
We all have buttons that we just don’t like to have pushed. These stresses are immediate triggers that can make your partner feel angry, frustrated, or enraged. Identify the stressors in your partner’s life, and then learn to avoid them no matter how tempting it might be to push those buttons when you’re having a disagreement.
Opt for Couples Therapy
See a relationship expert and work through counseling sessions together. A marriage therapist can help you identify problems in your loveless marriage and can help you heal and recover your love for each other over a period of time.
Okay, so you’re thinking, I am not happy in my marriage anymore. That’s fair. However, only when you make an honest effort to apply the steps above and undergo couples therapy should you truly consider throwing in the towel.
How do you know when you should give your relationship another shot? When the both of you two still love each other, when it has grown to more than love, when the issues aren’t serious enough to ruin the foundation of your relationship, when your actions speak louder than words, when the two of you are still committed, when the two of you are genuinely sorry, and lessons have been learned.
It is always better to work hard to revive what is left of your relationship before you consider going your separate ways. Once you start out on the journey of divorce or separation, things can get very ugly very fast and it becomes a lot harder to rekindle lost love.
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