can extramarital affairs be true love

Can Extramarital Affairs Be True Love? Everything You Need to Know

Have you ever planned to have an extramarital affair with someone? Do you currently have strong feelings for someone other than your spouse, which is more than lust? You might engage in an emotional connection with that person but are unaware of this reality.

Often, one or both affair partners think of their relationship and wonder, “Can extramarital affairs be true love?” Sometimes, a married person develops a deep connection with the person they’re having an extramarital affair with for several reasons.

It might get hard to manage your current partner and the affair partner when something like this happens. Here, you will learn whether extramarital affairs can exceed lust and turn into love. Affairs are, by nature, related to betrayal. Ester Perel says that “infidelity threatens our emotional security.”

Still, love is likely found by two potential lovers in the unlikeliest of places. So, there’s a chance that a marital affair could be more than a fling.

How to Know When Marital Affairs Are True Love?

It’s possible for someone who’s having a marital affair to fall in love. This is most likely true, especially when the cheating partner successfully fills the void they couldn’t get from their married life. So, the answer to the question, “Can extramarital affairs be true love” depends on the respective relationship and how the extramarital affair fills the gap.

Can Extramarital Affairs Be True Love?

True lover sitting face to face

Marital affairs can become lifelong affairs, especially when the cheating partner satisfies the cheating spouse and outperforms the current partner.

It is natural to get caught up in confusion about whether you are actually in love or not. But here is your straight answer: yes, you can fall in love with your cheating partner. There is no doubt that some couples begin to genuinely love each other during an extramarital affair and can be in a long-term affair happily.

But not every extramarital affair turns into true love. Some of them rarely go ahead to build long-term relationships. There are various reasons, but a few conspicuous reasons boil down to understanding why infidelity doesn’t always make genuine love.

  • A cheating spouse tends to neglect the commitment to monogamy.
  • Marital affairs tend to be more about engaging in a sexual affair than loving an attentive lover.
  • The complications of divorce and the drama of breakups and custody can make the future relationship harder to start without any pain.
  • In bad marriages, affairs usually provide excitement and a rush because of the taboo relationship.

Once the mask of love and excitement wears off, it usually turns out to be temporary attraction and true lust, but sometimes these affairs can gradually grow into true love. So, let’s look at some possible signs to know if your extramarital affair is true love.

Clear Signs That an Extramarital Affair Is Growing into True Love

If you are having an extramarital affair over time and feel like there could be something more than just a physical connection, you might be falling in love or are in love. Maybe your intention was not to fall for your cheating partner, but it happened despite that. Here are signs that will make you realize if your affair is gradually turning into true love or just lust.

1. They Come to Your Mind Almost Every Time

One of many signs that help to confirm an affair is becoming serious is when you keep thinking about them. Does the relationship give you a rush? Do you feel like something is drawing you toward them?

If you’re gradually falling in love with your cheating partner, it becomes difficult to take them off of your mind. It hardly matters how much you try, you cannot get them out of your mind even when they are out of your sight!

Anytime you begin to think about the person with whom you are having an extramarital affair, there are butterflies in your stomach. But this is often short-lived as you fail to turn your affair into reality and wonder if you are doing the right thing to feel that way for someone else.

2. You Feel Your Cheating Partner Is Taking You Out of a Bad Situation

If your affair survives and turns into true love, you will unknowingly compare them to your ailing marriage. When someone is in your life, you tend to find faults in your spouse.

As you keep drawing closer to your cheating partner with whom you have an extramarital relationship, your spouse develops more bad feelings for your partner. Also, they become more annoying to you. You will start to paint your marriage as a bad relationship because you are now preferring the other person.

3. You Want to Be in Their Company

Often, long-term affairs turn into true love and you discover how much you prefer being with each other rather than your primary relationship.

Maybe you were drawn to the cheating partner because they were able to bring thrills and excitement into your life. Many times, we marry bad people, or an age-old marriage loses its spark. In those bad times, if you are lucky to find someone who makes you feel different, you might fall in love with them. You probably think of spending more time with that person even if you have to deal with the consequences of infidelity.

4. Conscious Commitment to the Other Person


When married couples don’t share a healthy relationship with their respective spouses, they become unfaithful. Long-term relationships can break down due to stress or not spending enough time together. If you’re wondering whether emotional affairs can turn into committed relationships, it is because you are noticing that contention between spouses.

5. Behavior Changes

Sometimes infidelity occurs when you notice that the other person is a compassionate person. No matter how old you are, you feel the brain chemical dopamine releasing every time you talk to your relationship hero.

You think he understands you better than your husband. As a married woman, you will have concerns about infidelity, but you cannot deny that the other individual has slowly peeked inside your brain and understands you well.


Can extramarital affairs be true love? Not every affair is the same. There are different types of people. Among them, some believe that they can turn their long-term affairs into love, while others are only looking for a lust-filled fling.

Most couples are against cheating altogether. Sometimes, unhappy couples avoid engaging in long-term affairs because of the taboos and the chances of getting caught.

Nonetheless, we hope this has helped answer your question: Can extramarital affairs be true love? If you want to evaluate your relationship, consider consulting with a relationship coach.