8 Ways on How to Get My Husband on My Side
According to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML), 67.5% of all failed marriages occur due to a breakdown in effective communication between partners.
In fact, divorce lawyers suggest that a lack of proper communication and frequent arguments are the biggest setbacks in a marriage, even if your spouse happens to be your childhood friend.
If you add problem-causing in-laws to this equation, then you’re in for a tough time. As the honeymoon period fades away and everyday reality starts to set in, it starts getting more difficult to keep the romance alive and to carry on as a team.
Now, let’s answer the universal question: “How to get my husband on my side?”
1. Give Him Random Gifts
Another way on How to get my husband on my side is by giving him random gifts. You will be surprised at how effective a bunch of colorful flowers can be in brightening your husband’s mood when he is having a bad day. Psychologists suggest that little acts of giving are very healthy for sustaining a long-term relationship. It does not necessarily have to be something big and expensive all the time.
In fact, little gifts such as his favorite kind of aftershave, the pair of gloves he has been eyeing at the local store, and the particular brand of cupcakes he likes are endless. Essentially, this is about reminding him that you think of him often during the day and that you remember the tiny details that he mentions.
2. Take Some Time Apart From Each Other
I know you may be thinking, “Can this really get my husband on my side?” Maybe!
Most marriages that evolve from symbiotic relationships often end up in separation because the partner feels suffocated. It’s important to learn to give each other space, as this may help you get your husband on your side.
A bit of time away from each other cannot only help the heart grow fonder, but it is vital in the long run because it will prevent you from losing sight of who you are. Don’t keep texting and calling all day long, especially if he has made it explicit that he requires some alone time.
Also, remember that you both have existences and personalities outside of your relationship.
3. Set Up Fun and Romantic Date Nights
Nothing brings people closer than a fun time filled with romance, good food, and effective communication. Think of this as dating your husband.
Of course, the sky’s the limit when it comes to planning date night activities:
- Go to the movies followed by a candlelit dinner, just like you did in the early stages of your relationship.
- Go on a biking trip across the city.
- Plan a picnic by the ocean followed by a few hours of stargazing.
- Simply put up fairy lights in your backyard and break out a bottle of champagne.
Make sure that you aren’t interrupted during the night by things such as work calls, your in-laws, or even your kids.
4. Set Up at Least One Hour Every Day to Talk
Talking about the bigger things can be very intimidating, but with practice and conscious effort, you can slowly chip away at that gigantic mountain.
We suggest setting up about an hour every day just so that you can talk about what is going on in your lives, if you are facing any issues in your marriage or child-rearing, and even just small talk.
This is especially helpful for people who tend to bottle their emotions and problems but are slowly learning the ropes of open and honest communication.
5. Explain Your Perspective in a Disagreement
If you ever feel that you have been blindsided by something that your husband said or if you feel like your husband is not on your side when it comes to interacting with the extended family, it is important to tell him that.
People, especially our spouses, are not mind readers, no matter how much we want them to be. Don’t assume that your husband understands why you feel hurt. Don’t engage in passive-aggressive behavior because it will only strengthen resentment between the two of you.
Instead of just telling him that you feel alone and hurt, explain to him which of his actions made you feel that way and how you both can tackle something like that.
6. Learn to Accept His Differences
One thing we all must understand is that being different isn’t wrong. Because you two are separate people, it’s fine to want to do things differently. We should be able to accept and even appreciate these differences as long as they do not actively compromise the autonomy and boundaries of the other person.
Constantly thinking that everything in a marriage should work out the way you want will only breed resentment, and that will cause division between the two of you. Just because you have different opinions or ways of doing things doesn’t make you wrong either.
Try to understand his perspective and ask him to do the same with you. Your differences are what make you both autonomous humans.
7. Give Him Random Compliments
When recovering from the fallout of an argument, it can easily become a conversation about each other’s shortcomings. It’s important to actively do the opposite.
Take time to remember all of the reasons that you fell in love with your husband in the first place, all of the things that make him unique and wonderful, and find a minute or two during the day to let him know how much you appreciate him and all of the things that you still love about him.
Psychologists have suggested that such positive affirmations and language can greatly impact a person’s mental health and interpersonal relationships.
8. Meet Him Halfway
Of course, this goes without saying that if you want your husband to be on your side, he must also want to have you on his side. No marriage can thrive on the effort of just one person. Both people have to give equal effort.
Remember that his actions, energy, will, and effort must match yours for the relationship to work because a one-sided effort cannot be practically sustained for long. Similarly, when it comes to apologies and date nights, he has to do his part in planning them.
In conclusion, a good marriage is always a result of great teamwork, and only when the players effectively communicate and grow together can you create a successful foundation.
You and your husband may have drifted apart for several reasons, including work, stress, lack of interest, or other things, but that does not mean that your marriage must continue down a broken path.
We hope this has helped you answer the question, “How to get my husband on my side?” Having your husband on your side can not only provide the support you need to thrive in your personal life, but it can ensure that every problem life throws at you in terms of marriage can be effectively and quickly solved.